theres so much I want to write about!! But where to start is the issue. I have been thinking for days since I wrote my first post and I’m lost. I’ll get there, I know I will. I have so many things to get off my chest.
Until the inspiration comes I may just babble on…
I’ve never been one to write in a diary, my emotions and thoughts were usually put down into songs or poems when I was younger. I would sit outside on my balcony and just dream and write. Yes, I was a dreamer… still would say I am. To say I’ve never had the urge to write about myself wouldn’t be true, I just never had the motivation to do so until one day last week when I was feeling overly emotional about many things and decided to get it all out. Rather then call a friend who may not understand just how deep my hurt and anger run I figured maybe it would be easier to just start typing. So I did, and I kept typing.
My boyfriend came home to me at the kitchen table intent on what I was typing with supper on the stove, the chicken cooked way too much and the noodles drying out in the pot. He still served up his plate and ate. I paused my typing to grab a plate as well as I apologized to him for cooking such a horrible tasting dinner.
I finished typing what I felt was a big jumble of my life put into a few pages. It did make me feel somewhat better, but I thought it would make me have more closure if I could post it onto Facebook for the world to see (mainly my mother). I didn’t, I was too scared. I knew the facts of my life that I wrote down would cause another big stir within my family, certain family members to be exact and would reveal so much of my past to others who never knew what I had gone through.
So, I decided maybe this would be the best way to get all this off my chest. Maybe they will see it or maybe they won’t. Either way I believe it may help me see some of the decisions that were made for me, some I made for myself and some things that happened and could or couldn’t have been changed. Those few pages I wrote the other day are so jumbled with a few of my life’s events crammed in and so many others missing in-between that make up who I am as a person.
I am a mother and now a grandmother, 38 years young. I have 3 beautiful daughters and a niece and nephew that I helped raise. They have given me a grandson and a great niece so far. I have a granddaughter and another great niece/nephew on the way. I work a lot as my boyfriend and I both own businesses, but we also make time for things we love to do.
So… I guess you can consider this a small introduction to myself and my family. As I write this I know I am going to feel good about getting all these feelings out for others to read and share their own stories. I am not here for pity, nor am I a good writer so please if you feel the need to correct my writing skills move along as I am not here to take writing class.
Until next time,